From Rock Bottom to Eight Figures: The Power of Radical Self Care and Love

Contributed by Bree Weber, a copywriter for thought leaders and personal brands. http://main.breeweber.com/

Broke, divorced, and grieving the loss of her young son who died during childbirth, Danette May had hit rock bottom. She had $47.63 in her bank account and no idea how to move forward.

But to hear her tell it, her pain was her gift.

Looking at her life on paper, you wouldn’t see that she’s known any pain at all. A #1 bestselling author, former celebrity fitness trainer, and world-renowned motivational speaker, Danette runs a $20 million dollar business. She has built a strong personal brand from which she engages with 1.5 million followers. She’s a happily married, loving mother – all in all, her life looks perfect.

But less than 10 years ago, it was unraveling all around her. 

And she did something unexpected with all of trauma that life had thrown her way. She accepted it.

Danette talks about her past as a series of choices. She chose not to be a victim. She chose to take 100% responsibility for her life. She chose to practice radical self-care. It’s radical because in this day in age, taking care of ourselves requires us to identify, acknowledge, and address shame.  

Brene Brown defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging”. Addressing our shame requires us to examine the stories we tell ourselves.

Danette first recognized her own stories after her losing first her son and then her marriage. She had been living on auto-pilot, flying down the path society had paved for her. It wasn’t until it all crumbled that she even realized the dishonesty in her relationships and lifestyle. Through uncovering those lies, she unintentionally discovered shame she had been hiding.

• I’m not smart enough. I’m not good enough. I’m not enough. 
• We feel shame for being too bright, too shiny, and too much. So, we lessen ourselves with subtle stories.
• I don’t need this. I don’t want that. This isn’t for me.

But choosing to take 100% responsibility for your life means taking control of how you react to the negative self-talk. It was from this responsibility – doing the hard work, lots of falling down, learning from mistakes and getting back up – that Danette discovered a small way to make big change.

When you’re in the thick of it, entrenched in pain and feeling heartbroken or pessimistic, big changes feel insurmountable, but the little things might just be possible. Danette, found three pillars that changed her life and allowed her to begin healing: healing foods, healing movement, and a healing mindset.

These micro changes turned into daily habits which developed into true healing. Within six months, Danette knew she had something powerful to share with the world. Healing your body and mind inevitably leads to soul work.

Slowly, Danette began rewriting those stories she told herself – and she’s still rewriting her stories. Though now, she’s helping millions of women do the same thing, through her latest book The Rise: An Unforgettable Journey of Self-Love, Forgiveness, and Transformation.

She shares her own painful, yet inspiring story to show readers how they can manifest what is in their heart and lead a life of true abundance. Her mission has shifted since the three pillars, and gone deeper, and is clearly reflected in her book.

The Rise doesn’t require you to start anywhere specific or arrive anywhere (ever). Any woman, anywhere, in any stage of her life can explore what it means to live her fullest expression: to be her brightest, shiny-est self.

And on the way she’s creating a community of women who believe in abundance and are letting go of female competition and the scarcity mentality. It’s far too easy these days to consume only the highly curated images on Instagram and stories on Facebook. 

• “We’ve become accustomed to comparing ourselves against these collections instead of evaluating our own realities. We’ve all had experiences walking into an environment where we feel judged or disliked simply for being shiny, for being the best versions of ourselves. This is all shame.”

Women only bring other women down when they don’t feel enough. Women mask this pain with alcohol, buying shoes, overworking, and being judgemental to others, among other things, but this is only temporary relief. 

But when we connect with each other to share that pain and help each other through it, we can all tap into abundance. We have sisters to fan our dreams and support us along the way, because we all deserve to have our community that have our back in darkness and the light.

Danette talks about abundance as a 360° experience. It’s not just about success in one area, but having a positive mindset about what is possible in every arena of our lives. She spent a long time striving for work-life balance, without ever attaining it. That is, until she realized balance isn’t real. It’s just made up. 

• “Freedom is not about fitting a specific idea of being an amazing business owner from 9am to 5pm, an amazing mother from 5pm to 9pm, and an amazing lover from 9pm to 11pm.

Now, Danette doesn’t look for equilibrium. Instead, she plans her week around her non-negotiables: her two girls, her husband, eating something green, getting out into nature, and “I AM” statements – in that order.

Because it all comes down to this: what you focus on expands. If you focus on the negative or feel like the world is against you, you’ll get more of that. If you focus on the good that is happening and visualize what you want to happen, that’s what you’ll see more of.

And if you’re in the thick of it, Danette says, it’s hard to do those affirmations or feel positive. So, instead, start by moving your body. 

• “Turn on the music and have a dance party. Go out to the park and go for a walk. Movement is the sweeping of the cobwebs of the soul.” 

You can read more of Danette’s story in her book, The Rise available everywhere books are sold. Be sure join her book club to receive valuable tips and insights as you read the book, and join a growing community of abundant women.

---